Charlie II

*Placeholder for character* I will draw up a profile right now :) Charlie

Hey Kyte! Just a few things: I felt myself being sucked down, down, into the black water… I screamed, my voice lost in the wind. I didn’t want to die! ...

Chapter 1 Not a morning person. Reagan landed with a thump at the foot of the stairs and rushed into the hall. He hated mornings. One hand struggled into his ...

Valandil Eluch and Mungo Chubb of Deephollow . Hey, hey! Cpt. Smurf! I am related to you. Whooooo. Spooky :p. I tried them both with 'Charlie' and 'Charles' but I ...

Day 1. 5:52pm. Bernard. “Bernard?” “Wuh--” “Bernard!” The voice that had begun tentatively grew louder. It was a woman, and the voice’s hands clutched Bernard’s shoulders and shook the

OK I've done as much as I can today. I've almost finished Chapter 1, so here's the edits so far. The main point this time: useless words. You've used a ...

Really? You sure? That's brilliant! I guess you won't need my editing any more then! I'm amazed! Well done! $6000? Can your parents bail you out? Maybe you could fundraise, ...

Before we jump in with guns blazing and dragons roaring, why don't you just speak to them? It could be a freak accident, like the infinite number of monkeys on ...

I just bought his book: 'On writing' so I'll try to answer this when I've read it. He's quite a legend, but I'm not sure whether he's being completely truthful ...

Ok. I critiqued the prologue and I'm working on Chapter 1. My main comment so far is that you often use the same words to begin paragraphs (especially in the ...

Day 1. 4:54pm. Bernard. Bernard groaned inwardly as he tucked into the vanilla ice cream. His logical side was content; he was fulfilling his body’s need for energy and that ...

Errr, what Muffin said. I'll post the critique of the prologue and chapter 1 on Friday. You've written a lot! Charlie

Hey Polgara (David Eddings fan?) and welcome to the site. To begin with, as Twit has already mentioned, the general rule is to review two pieces of work for every ...

Day 1. 4:26pm. Bernard. “You’ve sprained your Medial Collateral Ligament.” “… Fuck.” Bernard tried not to make eye contact with Kevin. He was correct. Fuck was exactly the right word ...

DarkLight (Charlie) Charlie’s feet thundered along the corridor that led to the head pilot’s quarters. Usually one of Dono’s AIs would have taken the message, but they were far to ...